It did. It got worse. In the years following, still navigating life without my daughter and dad, I struggled as a young mom (giving birth two more times to two healthy sons). The stress of military life, deployments, and frequent moves tore at me. And eventually I faced a crisis in my marriage that undid me. Life felt unrelentingly hard and heavy. I never imagined the pain points I experienced would be a part of my story. As much as I didn't want them, they were now woven into my story. 

At 24 years old, just when my happily-ever-after should have been starting, my story took a devastating turn. The beginning of a wonderful, new chapter of my life turned into an ending I never saw coming. I had been a young woman full of hope, ready for my first military adventure with my husband (a newly commissioned officer in the Army), and pregnant with my first child. Within a few short months, I walked away from my career, moved away from all I'd ever known... and I experienced the birth and tragic death of my daughter, followed by the death of my father just weeks later.

Grief, depression, and anxiety all took their toll on me. I was desperate for relief and for something to change but felt so stuck and alone. In all that was out of my control, I began to focus on what I could control. I sought help and wisdom from safe friends, wise spiritual mentors, and licensed therapists. And then I began to write. All the wisdom, all the hard-won lessons, all the thoughts stuck in my head, all the feelings flooding my heart, all the prayers and laments of my spirit... I wrote it all down. I used what was I learning in my spiritual, mental, and emotional life to write in a such a way that writing became like the ladder helping me emerge from a dark pit. Writing felt (and still feels) like a fresh, cleansing, life-giving breath to my spirit starving for air.

 I believe writing offers healing + hope. I believe you have healing words to write and that you can write your way to hope.  If you want to write for personal processing on the journal page or want to have your words published for others to read, I have offerings to help you. 

As a child, I adored words. I've always loved reading and writing. But amid all my losses, I abandoned and buried my writing and creative side. But as I returned to the page and wrote again, I began to uncover and recover the parts of myself I'd lost. I began to experience a renewal of my mind and spirit and found relief for my aching heart. Writing became a life-saving tool for me. Owning my story, my choices, my emotions, my thoughts, and becoming curious and compassionate about myself and my life through writing brought (and still brings) such healing + hope to my life.